One week into treatment and feeling poorly. After the first few days of being ill and having no sleep I was completely drained. Nausea and exhaustion are an unpleasant combination. Add to that an annoying sore throat that has changed into the something stuck in the throat feeling. Yuck! I spoke to a few nurses and a pharmacist at the cancer centre about how I have been feeling. They prescribed a sedative to calm me on Monday, it was so powerful that I felt as though my limbs were like a daddy longlegs spider and I had no control over them. I did sleep that night and remained in a fog the whole next day. The goal is to manage symptoms and rest, so I spend my days moving between my bed and the sofa.

I am still surprised when I see my reflection. Short, dark hair style and empty eyes that are masked by a veil of nasty chemicals. I can’t help but marvel as I observe how quickly this treatment is taking hold and leaving me feeling like a zombie. It takes all my energy to make meals and clean up after myself. I feel like I have lost even more strength and struggle to open containers. For a fiercely independent girl this is hard to accept, yet I must acknowledge and accept my temporary physical limits. Each day I feel strange tingling where the orange is and I am certain the treatment is working and shrinking it to a kumquat. 

There are positive items to note. My lymphoma is stage 1. My left upper lung has inflated again and is functioning fine. The cough I have had since January is finally gone, it stopped after the first day of treatment. I am breathing normally and don’t seem to struggle or gasp for air anymore. 

I sparkle on…one day at a time.  🙂