Over the last few months being grateful for the little things is something I think of daily. In a world where we can pay to ‘enhance’ almost any part of ourselves, I look at myself and appreciate simply having eyebrows, eyelashes, finger nails and fuzzy hair on my head. My eyes are clear and shiny and the large black bags I carried under my eyes since January are gone. I think it’s great that I have an appetite and have gained 5 pounds! How often do you hear a woman say that? On days that my energy is up I do a little exercise and have started attending a weekly yoga class. Some days I do more restful things like read and knit socks. It’s all good!
I am so grateful for family and friends that continue to support me in so many ways. Little surprises continue to arrive in the mail and add sparkle to my days. I have the best neighbour in the world! She does so much to help me around my yard and even removes dead mice from the traps in the basement. Yes I am wimpy about mice, even when they are dead they are just creepy! Vodka is not doing his job as a cat.
All along the geek in me has been fascinated with my body’s response to this adventure. Since I began to feel ill in January I have listened to my body and acknowledged emotional and physical feelings, good and bad. I am amazed that in the midst of treatment my skin is clear and my frown lines have relaxed. I have more energy than I thought I would, based on what the doctors tell you to expect. Having said that, on days that my body tells me to rest, I listen, drop everything and take a nap. What I notice most are the markers left by chemo #1, most noticeable was the hair loss at exactly two weeks after initial treatment. As time has gone on I notice the zebra stripe in my eyebrows, the individual hairs have a clear spot and then a change in texture. This is where they break off or become thicker while new hair continue to grow. I take this as an opportunity to repair over plucked eyebrows. My eyelashes seem confused, while I still have eyelashes they are shorter and thinner with a few old long lashes remaining. I find it so interesting to observe these changes. I have always been body aware and more than ever appreciate my health and the little things about my body that people so often take for granted.
I believe that I am in the healing phase. In my mind the wild blueberry is gone and cells are repairing. In the last few weeks my hair has begun to grow back, I take this as a sign that I am becoming healthier and my immune system is strengthening. I also take Vodka’s behaviour as a good sign. Prior to my being ill he used to always jump or crawl onto my chest to snuggle when I am lying on the sofa. For the last few months he has sat beside me, and made a habit of walking around my body. Well, a few days ago he crawled onto my chest to snuggle like he used to. I think he senses that my health is better.
I continue to think positive thoughts and visualize returning to my natural state of health. As I head into chemo #5 this Wednesday I will be visualizing myself healthy, happy and enjoying life…likely in Italy. 😉
I sparkle on…one day at a time. 🙂